Twifich00rs Weekly Fic Review!

Ding Dongs & Dicks

by: Fiona Fresh1

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7462744/1/Ding_Dongs_Dicks

"Bat shit crazy Bella, loves to drink, smoke, and grope her man-whore roommate. Vodka tonics, flying crystals, and stripper poles...oh my!"

This Weeks Fic Review Is On An Underdog Fic Called "Ding Dongs& Dicks".  It's A Great Story With Not Enough Reviews! This Story Is Hilarious, and Awesome, And Is Definitely A Must Read!!

The Story Is About Bella and Edward, Two Best Friends, and Roommates Who Love To Torture, and Tease Each other. Nothing Sexual Has Ever Happened Between The Two, But Both Want It To, Even Though Bella is In A Relationship With Someone Else. BLAH!

The Fic Starts Out With A Teensy Tiny Little Argument (One Of Many) Between Bella And Edward, And It Shows You, Just How Their Relationship -As Weird As It May Be- Works.

"Crash

Another hand blown martini glass shattered.

Fuck me gently with a chain saw.

"You fucking hemorrhoid!" I shout “Has the syphilis already started rotting your brain? That fucking piece was expensive. Get a needle up your dick and lose the insanity already!"

I picked up your precious pansy-ass crystal olive oil decanter, tossing its weight lightly in my palm, and flashed you a dirty smirk. With a swift over hand pitch, the bottle collides with your favorite Ansel Adams print.

I giggled as the oil dripped down the glass and onto the textured wall.

"Cum guzzling whore!" You shriek

"What? Lose your balls with your hairline? Or, is your mommy just holding them for you?" I bark.

I know you're sensitive about your hair; yeah it was a low blow. Suck it.

I searched the room for my next target. Racing toward the bookshelf, you catch me around the waist and lift me off the ground, my heart slamming into my chest.

The electricity, it's there humming through me like it always does when you touch me.

Thrashing around one of my extremities managed to make contact with your yam sack.

I land on all fours panting.

Fuck that's gonna leave a carpet burn.

I glare up at you. You are doubled over; meeting me with a cold green stare.

"Bloody cock tease," You spit all the while holding your balls.

"Pocket pussy fucking mama's boy," I sneer "I'll fucking show you cock tease."

With one swift move, I roll back and perch on my knees, peeling off my damp tank top.

Your eyes widen as you watch my tits bounce with my heaving chest.

I see the excitement break through your anger.

You like this, a lot. I can always tell.

I see your eyes glance to my boy shorts as you lick your lips.

"You wish, fuck nut." I whisper, my heart no longer in the fight."

As You Can See, They're Mean, Then It Turns Heated, But In Quite A Good Way. But Like I Said, Nothing Is Done About It. They Use Other People; Like Bella's Very Vanilla Boyfriend Jake, (Insert Gag) And Edwards Endless Call of Girls, To Tease And Torment Each other Into Jealousy. 

Finally, One Day, Bella And Edward Are At A Friends Party, And She Decided To Partake In Some Extracaricular, Illegal Cigarettes, On Top Of Drinking, So Bella's Feeling Pretty Good. She Ends Up Finding Edward, And Taking Him Home To Play A Game Of  "Las Vegas". There's Only One Rule To The Game. "What Happens In Vegas, Stays In Vegas"

After Some On The Wall Grinding, Nibbling Lips, And Cell Phone Interruptions, They Finally, FINALLY, They End Up Doing The Dirty, Making The Beast With Two Backs, The Horizontal Mambo, Bumping Uglies....

I Digress.

It's Magical And Sexy, And Delicious. 

& Then It's Not. The Angst Comes In, But Not For Too Long. It's Nothing Horrible Or Heart Clenching. Fiona Fresh1 Has A Way To Make Even Angst Funny. She's Pretty Spectacular, Not Gonna Lie. 

So, I've Already Given Away Most Of The Beginning Of The Story. I'm Rambling, And Probably Jumping All Over The Place, Because, Lets Face It. I Suck, And Get Excited And Just Jump From Place To Place. (See, I'm Rambling And Being Dumb Now)

ANYWHOOOO. This Story Is Hilarious, And Sexy, And Just Plain Awesome. It Definitely Doesn't Have As Many Reviews As It Should. Also, Most Of The Chapters Aren't Beta'd, But Fiona Fresh1 And I Are Working On That To Get It All Straightened Out, So She "Doesn't Look Lame" Her Words, Not Mine. Haha. Cause She's Definitely Not Lame, And Neither Is This Fic. It's A MUST Read. 

Now Go......I SAID GOOOOO!! Read The Fic, h00rs. You Won't Regret It!

Oh...& Leave Her Some Reviews.