Plucked
by
Tropical Sorbet
Life on the farm was all Bella Swan ever knew … until one day a copper topped stranger showed up at Cullen Poultry and ruffled more than just a few feathers. AH/AU One Shot
Where to start with this one?
Okay...I know!
It was fucking hilarious! This fic had me busting up from start to finish. I mean, who thinks this stuff up?
Apparently Tropical Sorbet did!
I first head about this story when I was doing an internet search on TwiFics, and just so happened to click on the photos. Well, a banner of Plucked showed up and, from the look of the banner, I knew I had to check it out! So I searched the fic name and BLAM! there it was on FF.net!
I decided to venture into the world of Plucked last night and about spit my Mt. Dew everywhere with the first few lines!
Here's a little excerpt...
"Are you alright?" He asked scratching the back of his messy hair.
I nodded. "Yes, thank you. There are signs," I babbled shyly.
"Signs?" He questioned and I nodded again. "What are you some sort of new age, psychic chick?"
I had no idea what he was talking about. We stood there looking at each other with equally confused faces. Just as I was about to mumble a fast good-bye and run off the front door swung open, my boss quickly made his way to my side.
"Bella are you alright? I've never seen you look so pale." Mr. Cullen's concerned eyes darted over to the stranger. "What happened?"
"Fuck if I know," he said in exasperation. "I was just standing here when she came walking up to me talking about forbidden signs and shit. Then she threw an apple in the air and ran in circles breathing into a paper bag."
Just the thought of someone running around in circles, going nuts had me rolling!
"So Bella, what do you do for fun around here when you're…not getting high?" He moved in closer to me.
"Lot of things," I managed to squeak out, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear. "I've been knitting scarf and hat sets all year for the big craft fair next week." I bit down on my lip in contemplation.
"I said fun," he backed away slightly. "Not grandmother training," his eyes lit up as he smiled. "What do you do for excitement?"
"Oh, um..." I placed my glass down on the table beside me, "I don't really like excitement."
Looking at him through my lashes was a huge mistake because I noticed his lips were the most brilliant shade of red. I wasn't a fan of red, it was so flashy, but I was reconsidering that as I watched his mouth move.
"Stop fucking with me," his hand reached out and stilled my bouncing knee. "Tell me something you do with passion. Just say the first thing that comes to mind."
"I sex chickens," I bragged shamelessly. "But I get paid for that. Honestly, I love it so much I'd sex them for free."
And those last lines up there had me friggen cracking up!
So, as the story progresses, Bella and Edward do some 'sexing' of their own, and boy does it get steamy! So if you're looking for a fic, that has it all, hot ass bronze haired guys, farm girls, and sexing chickens, then this is the fic for you!
BTW! Chicken sexing is a real process! Seriously...o-0
Check out Tropical Sorbet's stories at http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2028333/Tropical_Sorbet
Awesome fic, Tropical Sorbet! Thank you for sharing this with us!
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